Just a few months in University.
28th August,2019
I started ACCA program at The Millennium Universal College (TMUC) Bahria Springs. I was excited like everyone was because my best-friend I will be classmates again after 2 years. Also I was entering into a new phase, a new level of life that would be more tough than my college life. My college phase was miserable. I hate my college even today. I was never in it's favor. My parents knew How I struggled in college with a total different environment. I did my matric from Army Public School and I was a really pampered child, I was not used to indiscipline, intolerable environment, yelling harsh teachers, a class with 75 students, Key books, Cramming, Vans etc. So It was much harder for me to adjust. I have seen a really dark time and hectic routine in college.
My routine was getting up at sharp 4am, also i was minor insomniac, I used to offer prayer, get ready, water my plants, play with my Pet and Leave at 6:15am in Van. In such a hurry i used to skip breakfast. My Van driver is such a nice and a wise man. He spoke Potohari and Punjabi language and I also learned a few words from him i-e. Left hand turn is "Khabay Hath" and Right Hand turn is "Sajay Hath" and words like Krsa'n and Chiksa'n in the end of sentences. We used to listen Qalams and songs from Coke studio and mostly my favorite ones in the morning that gave me positive vibes. I used to attend classes, that were just fine. I was a radical in studies except Urdu. My favorite subjects were Commerce, Accounting, Economics, Banking, and Business Math. My off-time was 11am and I used to wait for Van to pick me up till 1pm standing tired in scorching heat of summers or cold hands in Winters or standing in rain. I used to reach home around 2pm, I used to step outside the van and pick my car keys to go and pick up my sisters from school in uniform. After picking them from two campuses, I would reach home around 3pm and hit the sack. I used to sleep till 4:30pm because I had to get up and drop my sisters to Academy and pick them up at 7 or 8pm. In between I used to take lunch and study, give myself lectures on the topics we crammed in college. I used to text Goodnight around 12pm but sleep around 2am or sleep not at all.
Last year at college I felt sick, my asthma and allergy got worse. My life surrounded around books, inhalers, pills, stress, restlessness, body pain, acne, throwing my phone away and wearing mask continuously. I used to wear mask from my home and take it off the moment I come back in my room. I got hypersensitive.
My routine was getting up at sharp 4am, also i was minor insomniac, I used to offer prayer, get ready, water my plants, play with my Pet and Leave at 6:15am in Van. In such a hurry i used to skip breakfast. My Van driver is such a nice and a wise man. He spoke Potohari and Punjabi language and I also learned a few words from him i-e. Left hand turn is "Khabay Hath" and Right Hand turn is "Sajay Hath" and words like Krsa'n and Chiksa'n in the end of sentences. We used to listen Qalams and songs from Coke studio and mostly my favorite ones in the morning that gave me positive vibes. I used to attend classes, that were just fine. I was a radical in studies except Urdu. My favorite subjects were Commerce, Accounting, Economics, Banking, and Business Math. My off-time was 11am and I used to wait for Van to pick me up till 1pm standing tired in scorching heat of summers or cold hands in Winters or standing in rain. I used to reach home around 2pm, I used to step outside the van and pick my car keys to go and pick up my sisters from school in uniform. After picking them from two campuses, I would reach home around 3pm and hit the sack. I used to sleep till 4:30pm because I had to get up and drop my sisters to Academy and pick them up at 7 or 8pm. In between I used to take lunch and study, give myself lectures on the topics we crammed in college. I used to text Goodnight around 12pm but sleep around 2am or sleep not at all.
Last year at college I felt sick, my asthma and allergy got worse. My life surrounded around books, inhalers, pills, stress, restlessness, body pain, acne, throwing my phone away and wearing mask continuously. I used to wear mask from my home and take it off the moment I come back in my room. I got hypersensitive.
I was not happy with anything. I was stressed and got into more depression. But I made honest friends and a very few teachers who really inspired me and appreciated me in any way even today. I cannot forget that day when I came home around 4pm from college because our van got into a big road rage and a "Phadda" in other words a really big fight that turned out a police case. That was the first time in my life I entered Police station and gave description of the incident that we witnessed. It was sickening.
I was ready and prepared for more challenges in the University Life, but I never knew they would be this much tough and absurd. It was not about the environment this time, it was about people showing off their real faces. I lost my friends as I told you before in "Givings of 2019", and lost trust. It's true that You'll find Snakes in University. I found the whole pit of snakes. Some turning into and some already. Last night I saw someone lying infront of me proving me wrong. I was really disappointed that how can anyone lie this much, how their soul allow this? Don't they feel bad lying to someone who know the truth?
But not everything is bad or worst. I learned to bother-less in University. Firstly, I was I think the only one seen with head-scarf and Shawl on my shoulder. That's my Real-self, What I love most about myself. Everyone's dressing was totally opposite to me, I saw people paying good greetings to me, respecting me, paying alot of attention towards my views. I loved standing out and it made my heart really happy. My sisters say that I have that confidence to stand out, if they were at my place they would have surely changed with the environment.
TMUC is my-type environment, too friendly and peace is everything. There's so much tolerance and people don't feel bad of expressing themselves. I still remember the orientation day, Sir Waqar Younas, ACCA manager, a vocalist, guitarist and a brilliant mentor who can read your mind in just a few seconds, fill up your mind with lots of courage and confidence. The first thing he asked us was "What are you passionate about?" It was our first test of describing ourselves, how we express or think ourselves as and first lesson of confidence building. After listening to other students, I realized that everyone is colorful in their own way and they love themselves, they are happy of what they are, not like me who was annoyed of who I was. I used to hate myself. But when it came to me, I told them about 3 to 5 things I was passionate about. There I learned how to express my real self without any show-off or high standard game.
My teachers are too good, but there's one who gave me and my friends a really hard time, but Alhamdulillah! I'm not taking his classes in my new batch "hehe". Financial Accounting and Management Accounting played well. My routine starts around 8 or 9 am. My classes start around 11 am, sometimes 1 pm or 2pm. In the free-time, Me and my friends attend library, we study, we tease each other and laugh like silly donkeys and our librarian sometimes also stare and smile, because "Hum nai sudharnay walay' After too many Narazgiyan, rumours and emotional torture, I finally made good friends. They all are elder than me and guess what I'm the youngest one in the whole class. They do take care of me and yeah Free Food. Sometimes they bring food without asking and that's humbling. They are not just my friends, they are my siblings, siblings who'll call me "Cutiepie" and in the next second they'll call me a "Churail" or "Bakri".
The most common thing between me and my friends is We are broke, we are not in a favor of relationships. But everyone thinks we are into each other and that's funny how we react to it. We all four are in relation with each other. All four! With him and him and her also, or with the whole University. These useless people are stuck in this "Relationship thingie" . So there is a pro tip, Answer them what they want to listen or Just Don't Answer! Because judgmental ones will always judge even if you tell the truth. You don't have to worry about it, this is their food, their way of surviving the day, let them do so as much as they want. Just Laugh and Focus on your goal.
Talking about the environment, it's so peaceful. I can just sit in the library, on the terrace garden or in the lawn and study or over-think my fantasy world, get to know myself more that's even more flamboyant. There I also saw people changing their colors gradually, but I remained positive. Also, my friend who left me because of no valid reason is back. I was happy, I'm happy, I'll remain happy no matter what.
Now I know why people end up being a snake. I'll tell you some other day when I'll solve this People-Snake mystery. Well, I passed my exam and much difficult door is waiting for me. For now, I would say, Being yourself is your first priority, love yourself, forget what people think about you, friendships and relationships do fade away at some point. Just be flexible, flexible enough to handle and survive all situations in every possible way, don't end up being negative or a snake to anyone. Be kind!
Your Lovely Friend,
Anum Zehra
TMUC is my-type environment, too friendly and peace is everything. There's so much tolerance and people don't feel bad of expressing themselves. I still remember the orientation day, Sir Waqar Younas, ACCA manager, a vocalist, guitarist and a brilliant mentor who can read your mind in just a few seconds, fill up your mind with lots of courage and confidence. The first thing he asked us was "What are you passionate about?" It was our first test of describing ourselves, how we express or think ourselves as and first lesson of confidence building. After listening to other students, I realized that everyone is colorful in their own way and they love themselves, they are happy of what they are, not like me who was annoyed of who I was. I used to hate myself. But when it came to me, I told them about 3 to 5 things I was passionate about. There I learned how to express my real self without any show-off or high standard game.
My teachers are too good, but there's one who gave me and my friends a really hard time, but Alhamdulillah! I'm not taking his classes in my new batch "hehe". Financial Accounting and Management Accounting played well. My routine starts around 8 or 9 am. My classes start around 11 am, sometimes 1 pm or 2pm. In the free-time, Me and my friends attend library, we study, we tease each other and laugh like silly donkeys and our librarian sometimes also stare and smile, because "Hum nai sudharnay walay' After too many Narazgiyan, rumours and emotional torture, I finally made good friends. They all are elder than me and guess what I'm the youngest one in the whole class. They do take care of me and yeah Free Food. Sometimes they bring food without asking and that's humbling. They are not just my friends, they are my siblings, siblings who'll call me "Cutiepie" and in the next second they'll call me a "Churail" or "Bakri".
The most common thing between me and my friends is We are broke, we are not in a favor of relationships. But everyone thinks we are into each other and that's funny how we react to it. We all four are in relation with each other. All four! With him and him and her also, or with the whole University. These useless people are stuck in this "Relationship thingie" . So there is a pro tip, Answer them what they want to listen or Just Don't Answer! Because judgmental ones will always judge even if you tell the truth. You don't have to worry about it, this is their food, their way of surviving the day, let them do so as much as they want. Just Laugh and Focus on your goal.
Talking about the environment, it's so peaceful. I can just sit in the library, on the terrace garden or in the lawn and study or over-think my fantasy world, get to know myself more that's even more flamboyant. There I also saw people changing their colors gradually, but I remained positive. Also, my friend who left me because of no valid reason is back. I was happy, I'm happy, I'll remain happy no matter what.
Now I know why people end up being a snake. I'll tell you some other day when I'll solve this People-Snake mystery. Well, I passed my exam and much difficult door is waiting for me. For now, I would say, Being yourself is your first priority, love yourself, forget what people think about you, friendships and relationships do fade away at some point. Just be flexible, flexible enough to handle and survive all situations in every possible way, don't end up being negative or a snake to anyone. Be kind!
Your Lovely Friend,
Anum Zehra
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